Tales from Thailand – FINALLY!!
After enduring a loonnggg flight from Dubai to Thailand, those of us who can’t sleep on flights – me, Jeremy & Pete White, were all thinking there’s a good reason that people splash out the fares for Business class where they can stretch out!
At Bangkok, we said farewell & commiserations to Tracey & Marge as we left them to endure a 7hr stop over @ the airport prior to their NZ flight.
On our way through Bangkok to our hotel, Pete W reminded me that he had officially retired himself from Ugandan tour leader & had nominated me as Thailand tour leader. I can’t remember any nomination/ fair voting democratic process with any of this…
At the Century Park Hotel, they upgraded our rooms so we found ourselves about 20 floors up in rooms that would happily accommodate the average Watoto house!
We spent that afternoon basically relaxing, enjoying the air conditioning, swimming & catching up on sleep. (I know this as Pete H has a very unflattering photo of me looking like I’ve been shot dead on the bed.)
The next day, we found our way through Bangkok for a tuk tuk tour. Bangkok has about 10 million people & the road system is only built for about 3 million so it can take ¾ hr or longer just to go one block. The traffic lights have lit up signs telling you how long it’s going to be before the lights change again – they count down from 100 – slowly. They should just use the Ugandan road system – ignore the traffic lights, centrelines, traffic islands, use the footpaths & you’ll get there quicker.
Our tuk-tuk tour was hilarious. Our guide “Jerry” was Chinese & his grasp of the ‘Eengwesh’ language was pretty creative. Lloyd & I had to really concentrate to understand what he was saying & then translate it to the others. Pretty hard work but Jerry’s enthusiasm for his job made up for it – & besides, he kept calling me ‘sir’.
Tuks-tuks are not for the faint hearted but once we realised they were reasonably stable at the speed of sound, then we could relax our white knuckled grip on the seats! (Speaking for myself here).
Pete ‘Motor head’ White couldn’t take the smile of his face after his first blast in one of these death machines & was obviously thinking from then on how he could get one into NZ. (Might have a bit of trouble getting over Mt Hercules in one of these on your way down Sth Westland for carpet laying, Pete!)
There are about 100 temples or ‘Wats’ in Bangkok & we figured we must’ve visited every one by the end of the day. They were amazing though – the Thai didn’t muck around building small ones as they were enormous & most were decorated with tiny tiles &/or gold leaf.
It was a stinking hot humid day that meant we all were all nicely marinating in sweat the entire time – very pleasant!
It was blissful to get back to the motel, the air conditioning & the pool. Jack & Jeremy wee the resident pool sharks.
We visited the “Suan-Lum” night bazaar – with its 3,700 shops. Jeremy & Jack felt they had just entered Aladdins cave with all the electronic gizmos, watches, knives, switchblades, & all the other gimmicky gadgets you could imagine that wouldn’t be (legally) seen usually in the average shop.
Day 2 saw us up & leaving @ 6.30 to visit the floating markets @ Damnoen Saduak, Sth West of the Bangkok.
We stopped @ every touristy place on the way as our bus group was one of many buses who were touring that day. Thai tourism ingenuity is a well-oiled machine– they are very slick about getting every Thai baht out of your wallet. As you step out of the bus, unbeknown to you, someone takes your photo & waiting for you when you go back to the bus, is a plate with your photo on it. Multiply this by more touristy stops, & one could accumulate quite a dinner set.
The actual floating markets are up a maze of canals so the bus dropped us off for a ride in long open boats for a “very exciting ride, madam – just like in James Bond movie, madam” to the markets.
I feel that tuk tuk drivers & long boat drivers are of the same breed – suicidal adrenaline junkie maniacs. I’m convinced they have a wild desire to see the whites of their passengers eyes at all times…
Anyway – one very wild exciting 20min ride later & we arrived @ the floating markets – hair standing on end & wide grins –(especially Pete White who was obviously trying to calculate how he would fit a tuk tuk & a 5 metre long boat with a 3litre turbo charged motor into the overhead locker on the plane home).
The floating markets are a wonderful seething mass of noise & chaos that has to be seen to be believed. Long open boats selling anything & everything are crammed against each other in canals. Although over the top touristy, it’s great photo fodder.
While there, Jem, Jack & other brave souls had (rather nervous looking) photos taken of them with snakes wrapped around their necks.
Kate & me were nearly sick at the thought when they were offered to us.
Just when we thought we had seen everything, it was onto elephant riding, (a rather sad) monkey show for some & then a wood carving workshop.
The woodcarving was a surprise as it turned out to be amazingly intricately carved huge pieces of furniture – ie some of the table / chair sets had seats that were about 4 metres long. Think of the size of the house that would be needed for a lounge suite of this size– or the entire family could just share one chair in an average sized house.
Next, it was onto a cultural show that included Thai dancing, fingernail (I am not making this up) dancing, wedding & monk ordination ceremonies, kick- boxing, sword & long pole fighting & elephant work.
We figured we got our money’s worth for this day’s tour! This is what happens when I’m nominated as tour leader, guys…
That night we went on a Bangkok river cruise. One of those events were they pack about 200+ people on, feed them up & put on live entertainment & get every one up dancing as the boat cruises up past all the temples lit up & the lights of Bangkok.
It was a great night & where we saw a side of Jack Hines never seen before. He was the first up dancing as the Thai girl hosts were quite taken with this tall blonde Kiwi guy & every time they got him up for a dance, he was given cheap fluro flashing headgear or glow stick jewellery.
So you can imagine my surprise when I was up dancing myself, to see this tall grinning glowing flashing apparition of dancing fluro-ness heading towards me leading a Congo line! Yep- Jack managed to find himself leading the entire boat load of passengers in this rather wobbly Congo line with the Thai girls clutched firmly behind him. Give me strength.
They couldn’t believe me later when they found out he was only 13.
Day 3 – secretly feeling shattered but ready for another day of danger & excitement – we left (nearly without the sleeping divas -Kate & Olivia) @ 6.30 am to travel up to the River Kwai & Hellfire Pass railway @ Kanchanaburi –Nth West of Bangkok toward the Burmese Border.
At Kanchanaburi, we visited the war museum that gave us the history of the Japanese invasion into Thailand during WW2, the reason behind the railway & the conditions that the prisoners had to endure.
We also walked over the large iron bridge over the river Kwai. We were advised to “not panic (read here, don’t leap off the bridge) if train comes”.
There were heaps of people walking the bridge & it was barely as wide as the rail tracks so passing each other was an exercise in balance& nerve as there were quite a few wooden planks missing & not many places to pass. I couldn’t help but wonder how they got any unsuspecting tourist out of the river before they either floated off towards Burma or were eaten by something. Don’t they have crocs or water snakes in Thailand?!
After travelling to Nam-Tok, we boarded a rather dodgy looking train. For $NZ 3.00 we could be up graded to first carriage- which meant a cup of tea that tasted like turps & a bizarre looking muffin.
The railway journey took us over the actual Thailand- Burma railway that Prisoners of war built during WW2. (We all hoped it had been adequately reinforced over the years as some very precarious looking wooden bridges & viaducts built along the mountain side were VERY high up & the river looked a very long way down!)
We then bused to the very nice Kanachanaburi Motel that is spaciously spread out, surrounded by trees & built on the banks of the Kwai Noi River. As we were almost the only ones there, when we arrived for lunch, the very attentive staff practically hand fed us.
After our intimate lunch, our intrepid team got into long boats to SEDATELY cruise up the river to Kaeng Lawa Cave, which once you survived the 300 or so vertical steps to the entrance, contains amazing limestone caverns & formations.
It had really poor lighting inside but Jeremy found the cave blacker than most as he forgot to take off his sunglasses. Worse still – he then announced this to everyone there! (Mental note to self – keep these wee errors of judgment quiet or they will be repeated on blog sites!).
The hotel contained several swimming pools one of which had a great water slide. The ‘kids’-Kate, Jack, Braydon, Olivia & Jeremy must’ve spent 3hrs going up & down the slide. More sedate older sensible people like myself & the Petes, sat at another pool, on the other side of the motel, sipped G & T’s & enjoyed the peace & quiet.
Pete & I decided that if we ever go away on any holiday again – we’d take Jeremy with us as he entertains the kids so well.
A visit to Hellfire Pass brought us back to reality. This is a long narrow pass cut through solid rock wide enough for the WW2 railway. So named because to keep to the railway completion deadline, the POWs worked through the night so lighting was candles or lamps nailed to the walls of the cutting. A prisoner remarked that if he died, he wouldn’t go to hell as he felt he was already there.
It was quite eerie to walk through the pass along the railway as it was very quiet & marks could still be seen on the walls of the cutting from steel poles that were hammered in to make holes for the dynamite. It was very easy to ‘hear’ the tap, tap, tap of hammers around you –especially when others remarked on the same thing.
It was a very sobering experience & I can imagine on Anzac day, it would be very moving to be there.
While in this area, we also were able to go for an elephant ride & also bamboo rafting on the river. But we must’ve been a bit heavy as Pete W had to get out at one stage & help the raft guy push us out into deep water as we grounded at one stage!
How embarrassing! The hotel staff obviously were feeding us too well.
Back in Bangkok – we had one more frenzied visit to the Night Bazaar to buy more must have items –& while we were aware the goods were ‘authentic genuine fakes’, we all had a great night bartering with the store owners & then comparing our bargains. Bartering brings out a skill in people & I must admit Kate Hines & Olivia are pretty ruthless to see in action!
We finished our last night in wonderful Thailand with a tuk tuk race. I bartered with the drivers for 3 tuk tuks to take us back to our motel. And then we were off! The drivers decided to race & obviously had as much fun as we were. At one stage, I swear we were travelling faster than our guardian angles could keep up but they obviously were as Pete White was in motor head heaven. We soared (flew) up to the front of the hotel beside a limo hooting & yelling at the top of our voices – all beaming & looking as though we’d been in a wind tunnel.
Wow!
Thailand was great & we saw some amazing sights (not just Jack leading the Congo line) & experienced amazing things. It was a full on trip but well worth the fatigue!
The Thailand events may be written slightly out of sync- but not by much. For the purists out there – (Amanda)- dare to sue me.
Over the course of the entire trip, I saw people change & grow in response to challenges & experiences we encountered on the way.
At the risk of this sounding like a thankyou speech after winning an Oscar –
Jeremy – considering you were a choco, KFC & MacD’s only sort of a guy – we were all very impressed by your willingness to try different foods. We’ll be around for homemade chippatties, boiled coleslaw, omelettes with plum jam & dried bananas.
Kate, Jack & Braydon – always gave everything a go & got stuck in to help even when it was hot & we were all really tired & scratchy with each other. We loved standing back & watching you guys communicate so well with others who couldn’t speak English. Your fellow humans could learn from you.
Amanda – thankyou for obliging us with entertainment @ every airport security check – they never did find the bag of peanuts…
Marge – for your patience teaching cryptic crosswords, providing reading books “The Shack” that challenged our idea of God, profound talks & for not going completely insane when the internet kept going down.
Lloyd & Olivia – thankyou both for sharing this journey & allowing us to get to know you. You both fitted into the team as though we had known you for years. And lets note forget Olivia’s choco pudding!
Pete & Pete – thanks guys – another successful trip. Can’t ignore the ongoing call of Africa! Another team will be back.
Kathy




